Taking our attention off the other person, not trying to change them, not pursuing them to bring love to us, sets the context for love to grow. When we stop pressing our partner to change their behavior, to bring approval, validation, praise, acceptance, attention, connection, and acknowledgement, or anything else to us, then we are sitting down quietly instead of running after them. What we can begin to receive from ourselves that which we at times desperately chase after our partner to bring to us, we are less likely to frighten or overwhelm them.
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